A Conversation

Christian, what time is it?
What?
What time is it? It’s dark. I can’t see the clock.
Oh. It is 3:06. Is there a light on in the hallway?
Yes. 
Why?
I think Henry is up.
 
Henry?
Oh. Mom, you are awake. 
Is everything OK?
Guto pooped.
In your room?
Yes.
On the rug?
Yes.
What was he doing out of his crate?
He was barking. Sometimes he barks. I let him wander around.
Is the poop pick-up-able?
No.
Oh.
I’ll get it. I just take up the FLOR rug tile, right?
It’s complicated. I will help.
OK.
I need to find my glasses.
OK.
I need to pee. 
OK.
 
Hello, Guto. Are you going to join me in the bathroom?
 
Mom, I am getting a poop bag.
OK. 
 
Guto! People pee in the bathroom. Not puppies!
 
Elizabeth, did Guto pee in the bathroom?
Yes.
All over?
Nope, only on the sheepskin bathmat.
Oh.
I will just throw it away.
 
Mom, I got the poop bag.
OK.
 
Oh no!  Guto’s pee dribbled all over the hallway floor.
 
Mom?
Just a minute. I am putting the sheepskin bathmat in the bathtub.
OK.
Can you get the enzymatic cleaner and the paper towels?  Then I will get a bowl of water. 
OK.
Please hurry, I have pee on my feet. I am leaving pee footprints all over the hallway floor.
OK.
 
My feet are clean. I have a bowl of water.
 
Christian. Henry.
Yes?
Yes?
I sprayed all the pee footprints on the hallway floor with the enzymatic cleaner. 
OK.
OK.
The hallway floor is slippery.
 
Henry, where is the poop?
Near the door.
Oh. 
What?
We need more poop bags.

Elizabeth, I have Guto.
OK.
We are hanging out.
OK.
Elizabeth.
Yes?
There is a poop stain on our bedroom rug. 
I will spray the stain on our bedroom rug with the enzymatic cleaner and spot treat it in the morning.
OK.
Oh, you probably need to clean Guto’s butt.
OK.
 
Henry, we need to clean Guto’s butt. 
OK.
 
Mom, how do we clean Guto’s butt?
With many damp paper towels.
OK.
 
Dad, the toilet won’t flush.
Did you flush the paper towels?
Yes.
All of them?
Yes.
You should never flush paper towels.
OK.
Is the toilet clogged?
Yes.
You need to pull the paper towels out.
OK.
Henry?
I can’t reach them.
Did you actually try to pull them out?
Yes.
You really stuck your hand all the way in the toilet?
I tried but it didn’t fit.
Who does that?
What?
Who tries to stick their hand all the way in the toilet?
You told me to.
Yes, but who actually does that?
Oh.
I will get the plunger.
OK. I will put Guto in his crate.
 
Elizabeth, the plunger barely worked. We almost flooded the bathroom.
Oh.
Are there towels I can use in the hallway linen closet?
Yes.
 
Christian! Watch out!
Jesus! 
Are you OK?
I almost slipped down the stairs.
The hallway floor is slippery.
I see that now.
I saw.

Mom, do you need any help?
I am working on the poop stain on the FLOR rug tile. 
Can I take up the FLOR rug tile?
You really want to take up the FLOR rug tile.
Yes. 
We can leave the FLOR rug tile.
OK.
The enzymatic cleaner will do its thing.
 
Mom, are you finished?
Yes.
OK. I am going to bed.
 
Christian, are you going to bed?
Yes, I am having some water first.
What time is it?
3:57. 
Oh. Maybe I will have some coffee and just get on with it. 
 
24 hours later…
 
Mom?
Emlen, is everything OK?
Penrose pooped in his crate.
 
Christian.
Yes?
Is the coffee set up?

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